In the past month I have come to discover that the Bible is more than the love story everyone proclaims it to be.  The Bible has come to show me that it is an endless story of people working through trials and tribulations; an endless story of Jesus performing miracles, saving the sick and broken; it’s a story that shows us how much Jesus relates to us.

In every one of my post, I have to share how much God has been a source of my strength and that his promise of salvation is the key to navigate this life or my journey; and while I tell myself that over and over again, I stopped believing in that reasoning.   “God died for our sins.  He shows us mercy.  His forgiveness provides us the strength to be okay with His plan.  It’s all worth it.  It’s all going to be okay and our souls will live on forever.”  That wasn’t good enough for me and when I realized, there was more to be understood from those actions. A deeper dive into my faith and understanding of God and who he is, and that’s what led me to see that the Bible isn’t a love story but testimony of hundreds of peoples tragic lives and their redemption.

Adam and Eve failed God and brought hell to Earth.  Yet God loves us so much that He had His son perform the act at the cross.  That’s all great and dandy God, thank you, really; but I am not sinning, I AM SUFFERING.  Every fiber of my body hurts when I think of how much Andrew suffered for 5,270,400 seconds of his life; every fiber of my body hurts when I repeat “I am the mother to a dead baby” every day.  How is Jesus dying for my sins suppose to be comfort?  How is the cross suppose to be a sign of hope when the cross is simply a sign of forgiveness and eternal life?

The days following Andrew’s anniversaries I was legit drowning and beginning to loose consciousness.  I had to choose and fight for that one extra breath; I had to listen to God once more and I am so glad I did because He provided me with a deeper understanding to His actions at the cross.  “If Jesus had just died, it would have just paid the price to cover our sins so that we wouldn’t have to pay, but it would not provide the power to overcome sin and the effects of sin in our lives.  It is the resurrection of Jesus that provides not only the power we need to live a life pleasing to God today, but the promise that life will not end when our bodies die.  The resurrection of Jesus from the dead is what secures our hope for today and for the future (Guthrie, 156).”  Ok, God.  That’s cool, I hear ya I hear ya.

In my opinion there are two forms of sin- the natural sin that we are born with, which has induced all evil in this world, and then there is the actions/choices we make every day.  God has given us life after death and if it wasn’t for the actions at the cross there would be no point to my suffering and misery.  There would be absolutely no reason for me to live another sixty years (God willing) with the pain I feel every day.  God gave me hope and the eyes to see that it’s all worth it.

As I said before, the bible provides us with stories after stories of how people are broken, sick, and lost and how God uses His Son as a vessel to show the world His power and capabilities.  The Bible shares with us that sin stands no chance against God, as he performs countless miracles on people as He raises the broken.

My favorite story of the bible isn’t Job or Ruth.  It isn’t Daniel in the lions den or Shadrach in the fire.  My favorite story is the prophesy of Jesus on the cross, Psalm 22.  I read those words and fall to my knees with my arms reached out above me.  My heart skips a beat and every fiber of my body aches as I have never related more to someone as I do to Jesus on the cross in that moment.

“My God, My God.  Why have you forsaken me?  Why are you so far from saving me? So far from my cries and anguish?  My God, I cry out by day but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest.

You are enthroned as the Holy One, you are the one Israel praises.  In you our ancestors put their trust; they trusted you and you delivered them.  To you they cried out and were saved; in you they trusted you and were not put to shame.

But I am a worm and not a man, scorned by everyone, despised by people.  All who see me mock me; they hurl insults, shaking their heads. ‘He trust the Lord,’ they say, ‘let the Lord rescue him.  Let him deliver him, since he delights in him.’

Yet you brought me out of the womb; you made me trust in you, even at my mother’s breast.  From birth I was cast on you; from my mother’s womb you have been my God.  Do not be far from me, for trouble is near and there is no help.

Roaring lions that tear their prey open their mouths wide against me.  I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint.  My heart has turned to wax; it has melted within me.  My mouth is dried up like a potsherd; you lay me in the dust of death.  Dogs surround me, a pack of villains encircles me; they pierce my hands and my feet.  All my bones are on display; people stare and gloat over me.  They divide my cloths among them and casts lots for my garment.  But you, Lord, do not be far from me.  You are my strength; come quickly to help me.  Deliver me from the sword, my precious life from the power of the dogs.  Rescue me from the mouth of the lions; save me from the horns of the wild oxen.  I will declare your name to my people; in the assembly I will praise you.  You who fear the Lord, praise him! all you descendants of Jacob, honor him!  Revere him, all you descendants of Israel!  For he has not despised or scorned the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help.   From you comes the theme of my praise in the great assembly;  before those who fear you I will fulfill my vows.”

Then there is my version:

My God my God, why have you forsaken me.  I trusted you and you let my world crumble.  You gave me a son to love, protect, and to raise up but you stole Him from me.  You allowed Him to be sick and broken.  You gave me a child I couldn’t protect or save.  You took Him to save Him and then left me to be broken.  How am I suppose to carry on God, when You failed me.  My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

Praise be to God because He didn’t fail us.  He provided us with page after page of testimonies that are example that this life is worth it.  That if we stick it out long enough for Him to call us home it will be worth it all.  He provides us a son, who suffers the most in this world as an example that He not only loves us but that there is a reward.

So no I don’t just look at the cross as God’s way for us to be forgiven and to have eternal life because it’s so much more than that.  The cross is a representation of ultimate suffering and the redemption that follows.  There is a purpose.  God promises.